tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16268336.post114681886392968827..comments2023-10-07T17:28:01.937+02:00Comments on BiPolar Etcetera: I'm Flying Part 2BiPolar Guyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07381711074498504990noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16268336.post-1146950312402559612006-05-06T23:18:00.000+02:002006-05-06T23:18:00.000+02:00When my psychotic mania kicked in at age 16, and I...When my psychotic mania kicked in at age 16, and I had to be ambulanced from my high school to the local hospital, they were convinced I was on PCP. They pumped my stomach and gave me TWO charcoal tests and I'm sure a whole lot of other tests and could just not believe there was not a single drug in me. I've never touched the stuff. After having an experience like that at a young age I realized that I would be in super trouble if I messed with it and psychosis is so terrifying I didn't want anything to do with anything mindbending.<BR/>It is amazing to me that I can seem so normal, yet have a flip side that makes horror movies look like nothing. On that note, I don't watch that cr*p either. I figure its for normies who need to scare themselves because they don't know what real terror is.<BR/><BR/>All I really want is to be 'normal' or experience as much sanity as I can before the next 'big one' hits. I am convinced that it will. I'm too young to escape without it again, no matter what medication I get. That's just what I think about it.'Tarthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14649798961801869778noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16268336.post-1146937311971064822006-05-06T19:41:00.000+02:002006-05-06T19:41:00.000+02:00funny you should say that- once upon a time a very...funny you should say that- once upon a time a very long time ago, I used meth and sometimes coke. I preferred meth. Years later, after I had quit and been diagnosed and experienced a manic episode, I realized that what I had been doing was in my using was flipping myself into mania. The feeling I got being purely manic without any street drugs to trigger it was EXACTLY the same as if I had done them. Now I wonder what other people feel when doing drugs as they arent all bi-polars who are self-medicating. Some people who knew me then and know me now who see me if I am manic start checking my pupils LOLOL they still cant understand that my body and mind will do that all by itself. When I feel depression coming on it gets hard to not use- cause I know I can flip that switch and send myself into mania, but I am very afraid of manic psychosis+drug psychosis so I dont. Beisdes, when your at a hospital asking for help- once they see drugs in your system they quit listening to youRainehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17088907661394233572noreply@blogger.com