Monday, January 23, 2006

BiPolar Cognitions



<= Picture: Some old wagon wheels I saw yesterday.

We tend to think that BiPolar is essentially an internal emotional disorder rather than a cognitive disorder like Schizophrenia. OK sure, so your logic can go a bit loopy during mania, but the rest of the time it's really just about moods.

I was reminded again yesterday that this is not the case. I've had 3 "In-the-Pink" days in a row now and the world has started appearing very different. Everything suddenly looks so appealing and you catch yourself saying " sheesh, I must do this sometime, sheesh I must do that." "Shit man, where've I been these past few months that I couldn't see all these wonderful things in the world?"

So what does that say to me? It says that moods are at the root of cognition. I mean, I can understand that internally I undergo chemical and mood changes, but Dang, the outside world doesn't change. Which means my cognitive and thinking processes change. When I'm down I find negatives in everything. That's not just limited to moods man, that's my whole system of thought.

It also made me realise more than ever before, how moods rule my life. When I'm happy, I can do anything, sad, nothing.

Did an incense sampling session yesterday. I've always loved incense. But I've never been able to tell the difference between all the different aromas and flavours - when it's burning it's just like - well it's incense burning - no real differentiation. So yesterday we did a little experiment. We lit 2 different incenses in two different rooms, closing the doors of each for about 10 minutes. Then we went into each room and made comparisons. Kind of like a wine-tasting.

It was great fun. I reckon it would make for a great event - 20 flavours, 20 rooms - a totally unusual aromatic experience. So far I like Ylang-Ylang best, whilst Mrs M likes Sandalwood.

Going to head down to my garden office just now. Yuck. But I've gotta do it. Can't make BiPolar excuses all the time, and I really want to keep this wonderful lifestyle that I'm blessed with. Gotta push yourself a little.


4 comments:

  1. Hello:) I'm going to make my daughter read your blogs, you sound just like her, and of course you both have something in common, and that's bipolar. I think you are handling this well, how long did it take you? My daughter will be 15 in Feb. Today I took Kelly to the doc. and the doctor and my daughter's thearapist wants to hospitalize Kelly, but right now there isn't any beds availiable, so we are doing the waiting game now. Take care, Elisa:)

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  2. No arguments here, BPG. I know some people speak about being "unemotional" but that's an ability that you have only when you are a corpse.

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  3. My personal favorite is sandalwood too. So many nights when I lay down, I look back & think I should've done this & that. I've never even considered it was a mood thing. Now that I'm aware of this, perhaps I can gear it into a positive & not a negative. Thanks for the info!

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  4. Elisa - Best things that helped me cope:
    1. Accepting my diagnosis 100%
    2. Getting the right medication (Lamictal, in my case).
    3. Working in a position that allows flexible hours that I can tailor to my moods.

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