Tuesday, March 07, 2006

The BiPolar Lot in Life

I took a shower midday yesterday and managed to resurrect myself sufficiently to drag my body down to the office and answer some urgent emails. Showers, I have found, are one of the very best short-term solutions to wash away the blues.

Things just got on top of me yesterday. Besides the neverending BiPolar to contend with, I presently have the other strains of finances and family issues. The finance problem (as I've said in many posts) is simple: to much debt and monthly incoming money not covering monthly outgoing money.

The family issues are a little more complicated. The "Honeymoon" period for both Mrs M & I, and Miss L, is drawing to an end. And, given the terrible events of Miss L's short life, we always knew that she would have huge underlying issues. Well they're starting to come out now. Mainly discipline issues. Having always felt guilty towards her I've been lax on discipline (what discipline?) Whereas Mrs M, as much as she loves Miss L (and she DOES) believes, probably rightly, that we need to establish some boundaries. So not only are there problems directly with Miss L, there is now a growing and potentially problematic dynamic developing between Mrs M and I. Me, I'm trapped in the middle.

And at times I feel like I just can't cope.

But this, I suppose, is the BiPolar's lot in life. BiPolars, I would argue, are more likely to have family issues than non-BiPolars. The moodswings add a whole new pressure to everybody and strained relationships go with the territory.

Same with finances. There's nothing like a week or 2 of hardcore depression to knock your income earning ability sideways. Couple this with the odd manic spending spree and you've got a recipe for disaster. In rare exceptions BiPolars can do well financially, but only when they have a long period of sustained and low-key hypomania. Impossible when you've been rapid-cycling like I have for the past year.

Guess we just gotta make the most of it.


  1. I don't think these are necessarily bipolar issues at all. All children want & need boundaries, if they don't have them, they don't feel safe. There are some good parenting books & Gary Smalley (or Smally) is a great author of helpful books with practical solutions. I think this is just a parenting issue that all parents have to deal with at some time.
    Best of luck to you & your family.

  2. We can tell ourselves that these are not related to our bipolar illness, but we'd be denying our disease. Nevertheless, there's some truth in what Jane says: not every bad thing is a symptom of the Disease.

    You can learn how to parent. The more you practice it while you are stable, the better prepared you will be during episodes. These feelings of insecurity are part of the disease and it will get better. Set time aside for relaxation and energy boosting. This will pass: you can be stronger at the other end.

  3. Ditto what Jane said. ALL teenagers - even untraumatized ones without issues need boundaries and will test them. Its normal. And providing them is a nessecary part of parenting and also makes them feel safe

  4. hi honey. we ALL need boundaries. me especially.

    sorry this has been a rough week. how is your cold/flu/etc now? I got rid of mine and it's back again.

    damn depression brought on by sinus issues.


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