Thursday, April 20, 2006

The 3rd Consciousness

Been in somewhat of an esoteric mood over the last week. So I may as well keep on posting about it.

By most accounts, there are 2 principal states of consciousness - Awake and Asleep. But on various occassions in my life I have found myself in a 3rd zone. This has occurred at night in an extended moment between waking from a dream and entering fully back into reality. For a small period of time, I find myself in this no-man's land between the 2 states. But it's not a "nothing" state. Rather, there is actually something more solid about it than the other 2 states.

Please bear with me here, as the experience is not easy to encapsulate in words. Perhaps the best way to describe it is like tuning between stations on a radio. "Reality Station" here, "Dream Station" there. Between the two - white noise. But the point isn't the white noise, the point is the realisation at that moment in time that you, yourself, your soul is actually seperated from reality, somehow greater than reality, the Reality Station just being one arbitrary position on the tuning spectrum.

It's a really difficult "insight" to describe. Like you are actually the only one in the universe, and reality is just one of your own creations. That when you finally tune out of the reality radio station, never to return, your higher self, the unchanging one, will still be there fiddling with the radio knobs.

I think I'll keep this one from my psychaitrist...

4 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  2. and I thought I was the only........

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  3. I found your blog today. Interesting because I too suffer from Bipolar disorder. I was diagnosed in December of 2004. Most of my time is spent in depression, though. I haven't really had any manic episodes, except for sometimes staying up too late on the computer.

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  4. Victoria I get the same thing! They just decided to try bipolar meds with me.

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