Saturday, June 03, 2006

No Fun and Games

Carnival n 1 a festive period with processions, music and
dancing in the street 2 a travelling funfair
- Collins Paperback English Dictionary

Yeah fckn right. Until BPG comes along. I've been staring at this definition for 2 days now, and the more I stare at it, the more shitty I feel. The more I know that when the time finally starts running out to post this today (3 June), it's just NOT going to be good.

I'd planned to really do an awesome Carnival. Spend a week buried in the BiPolarsphere, emerging with gems of insight. Create an intensely hyperlinked article that spread out and touched every BiPolar blogger in the universe. Stand up for our rights; fight the good fight.

But I've let you down. I've let myself down. I should have known when I started registering domains on Thursday that I was cruising on a high.,,,, What the fck was I thinking? Going on domain registration sprees is a failproof sign every time. And I should have calculated that come Saturday the cycle was going to have switched. CRRRRASHHH! But what the fck could I do about it? The 3rd of June is the 3rd of June. Can't just customise the calendar to synch with my moods.

So here I sit writing this drivel people. At least I'm fckn writing it. Yesterday at noon I was seriously considering sending Joel an urgent SOS. May Day! May Day! BPG is sinking fast. Switch to Plan B!

I'm a total social misfit. And now you see why. I can never keep appointments, never be relied upon. Trust BPG to fuck it up. Sitting here wallowing in self-pity. No, worse: self-pitying about my self pity. So fcking selfish and wrapped up in my own little world that I don't even have one link going out from this post to all the other brillaint BiPOlar bloggers out there.


July's carnival will be hosted by BP Hockey Chick. Better luck to her...

The Carnival of the Bipolars appears on the third of every month. It
is hosted by different members of the bipolar and associated
communities (i.e., caregivers, sufferers of other mental disorders with
affinities towards our disease.) To host this review of bipolar blogging
and information, contact
Subject:Carnival of the Bipolars">gazissax at best dot com.
Information about this and related carnivals may be found at"
target="_new">The Truth Laid Bear ÃœberCarnival. Opinions expressed in this review do not necessarily reflect
those of the editor or of any single bipolar except as attributed.Graphics:

Copyright 2005 and 2006 by" target="_new">JIL.


  1. You never let me down, BPG. How about another audiopost when you feel up to it? And if you haven't yet, hook yourself up with this podcast:

    My best friend's been a fan of their's since the eighties. He hasn't updated his blog since March 3rd, but TMBG keep me in touch with his sensibilities.

  2. Geez dont beat yourself up so hard. Its just a post. LMAO its not like we dont KNOW you're bi-polar for God's sake. And bi-polars go down. Just a fact of life. Give yourself a break and just throw an impromtu one next time you're flying high- we love ya anyway!!!!

  3. BPG, you're being hard on yourself. You're in episode. This shit happens to us. I don't think any less of you for not being able to make the deadline. I have always said that when it comes down to either the carnival or your mental health, your mental health should win.

    As I see it, you have two options: you can wait a few days and put it up as you stabilize.

    Or you can just brush it off.

    Either one is fine with me.

    I hope if I ever get in the hole at publication time, you'll do the same for me. Deal?

  4. Anonymous04 June, 2006

    You are being way too hard on yourself. We understand that shit happens. Just know that we are all here for you!!

  5. This shit happens. It's ok. We know you'll have a kick-ass one later.

  6. Gee, I'd love to climb all over your ass but that would be rather be the pot calling the kettle back!!! Post when you're ready, we love you.

  7. Anonymous07 June, 2006

    Hey, don't be so hard on yourself. At least you wrote something & you know what? What you wrote is as instrumental of a tool as any of the other Carnival's I've seen. Your writing is reality for people with bipolar disorder.
    I hope you feel better soon.

  8. I was COMPLETELY unaware that we have our own carnival and I can tell you that that after reading that definition I thought well heck, a bunch of us toddling in line for medication in the hospital could be considered a carnival and it MADE ME LAUGH, and what can be wrong with that? So thank you, BPG.
    Be proud that you fit in the category of 'misfit' - not fitting in is one of the things we bond with each other so well. I can't keep an appointment unless its written on my forehead and I certainly would never *think* of organizing important shit, so consider yourself completely and utterly off the hook, BPG, as far as I'm concerned. Most of all, I am positive that you will return to a time of stability, and better enjoy things again. Not just because this is natural, but because you fight the good fight. If you stay in, you will win.

  9. Anonymous09 June, 2006

    This was teh best carnival yet. Because it is so real.

  10. you didn't let ANYone down.

    Not me, not anyone I can think of.

    Now get up already :-) someone wants to wash the floor there.


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