Monday, November 13, 2006

Blog Privacy

Thanks for all your support guys. Always goes a long way.

As at right now, early monday morning, things are looking a whole lot better. Miss L is doing well. Whether she will ever cut again...I don't know. I don't think she does either. We all just hope for the best.

In Saturdays comments:

eric d said...

"does your daughter read this blog?
i'm just wondering. if she knows you talk about things, even though we don't really know you at all, how does she feel about that?
blogging is such an odd allowed invasion..."

Yeah, it's a good point. And I would be lying if I said I just went ahead, all gung-ho like, when I posted about Miss L's cutting. What we tell in our blogs and what we don't is a highly tricky and sensitive topic.
To answer the Eric's question though - No, L does not read this blog. Let me clarify that - she does not read this blog "to my knowledge". She doesn't really even know about it, but we all share the same upstairs computer (my own cmptr is in my outside office) and, as Mrs M points out, I've often left my blog open on the screen.

When people in your everyday life start reading your (private?) blog it opens up scary scenarios. In the beginning Mrs M read mine every day. Then last year we had a major row over some comments that were left, and she vowed never to read it again. But in August a big problem arose. I had smoked a joint that day and documented it here. Because of my history of psychosis, Mrs M, understandably, is violently oppossed to any BPG weed smoking activities.

I had already climbed into bed that particular night when a visibly distraught Mrs M came into the room from the communal cmptr room and said, in a shaky voice: "I don't know exactly how to tell you this, but i know what you did today." Turned out she'd been following my blog for the whole year. Luckily it wasn't a big issue, our misdemeanours kinda cancelling each other out: my promise not to smoke weed; her promise not to read BiPolar Daily.

It could have turned out worse though. Take the case of a blog I follow daily: Peas on Toast . This is South Africa's second most popular blog, the daily life of a young party-animal woman living in Johannesburg. Part of the attraction of this blog is that Peas calls a pussy a pussy, and a cock a cock. No beating around the pubic bush. Seriously, she never holds back, and whilst she was single the past few months we heard all about her sexual fantasies, which guys she thought were hot the night before, and how often she used her vibrator. And she promised us all, her loyal readers, that next time she had a shag, we'd all be first to know about it in detail. Problem is: Peas now has a new boyfriend. AND HE READS HER BLOG. As do most of her ex-boyfriends and current girlfriends ever since she won some South African blog award earlier this year. Not sure if her boss is a reader - probably not based on some of her musings.

But her hands are now tied. How the fck can you write about your previous night's fck when the fcker is reading it too??? And her readers are now starting to put pressure on her: "So Peas, did you shag or not last night?" "Hey Peas, what's he like in bed???"

I'd hate to be in her position right now (in the bedroom, or out :) . Fortunately her writing style is so unique and brilliant that I think most of her readers will hang on, but I still think she's wishing she had remained completely anonymous.

Yeah, I'm going to post more on this topic. As a higher and higher percentage of the world become bloggers (100 000 a day!!), protocols and etiquette around these new personal boundary issues are gonna go mainstream pretty quick.


  1. BiPolar Guy: Sorry I didn’t get a chance to post until now. I’m so sorry that all three of you are dealing with this. Poor Miss L. I’ve been there. : ( I often wonder if my hubby reads my blog. He certainly could if he wanted too.

  2. teens are smart. just sayin.
    and your wife,holy crap, she's a saint! she doesn't read it?
    oddly enough i would totally overlook a diary in the home,for no-one is supposed to read that. and i respect privacy. but a public blog that others not only can,but are encouraged to read?...i don't think i could avoid that temptation.

  3. that is such a controversial issue eh. i1ve never held back in blogging and once one of my friends said "sarah how do you think your parents would feel if they ever read what you just wrote?"so, now i write in english and none of my friends have acess to my blog. i really messed up that day...

    i'm glad you decided to handle miss L as a family and not put her in an institution but does she agree?? is she going to school? maybe she REALLY needs some time off... i keep thinking of miss L.

    All the luck to you.

  4. Yeah, I know my blog's public but then again, so is Antarctica. My daughter can't read yet but once she can I'm probably giving her this old G3 iBook and I hope she does read my blog, as it'll probably help her understand dear old dad a bit better.

  5. Why do we have secrets?

  6. Well, if Miss L. does read this blog I'd like to tell her that I support her in her efforts to take care of herself. Talk about your problems, even if you have to scream, but don't touch your body. You are precious to yourself and to your Mom and Dad. As a bipolar, when I feel like hurting myself (in any way) I get angry against the disease. Fighting against it (which many times may mean talking about what is going on with you), and not yourself, is the place to put your power and attention. For me, I sometimes channel my anger back at it, "Like how dare you? I'm not falling for this. I'm better than you!(the disease or whatever makes me want to hurt myself)" Now, of course, I am bonafide crazy but this seems to help. Most of all, I know its hard, and I'd like you to know that you have many people's support.

  7. great topic. my limited experience, only been blogging since this summer, but had a long discussion with my boyfriend about his appearance in my comic strip and his feelings about it etc etc. and we came to a negotiation that i can include him (he's represented as a guitar with a fake name anyway) if i don't put in details about him that are private or that don't have to do with the subject of the blog. at first i thought it would limit me and i got upset, but as i continued to post i found that most of my topics didn't stray into that gray area anyway. but it's a tricky subject...


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