The reason I asked

Yeah, I think you guys are right. I'll skip the gun idea.

The reason its been on my mind lately is that the crime down here is totally out of control. Every night somebody in my road (and it's a short road) is broken into. Actually this is pretty much happening in the whole of South Africa. And these dudes are violent man. Often they hack the houseowners up with bush knives. How we're gonna host the 2010 World Cup, I don't know.

So at night, every time the trees scrape on the roof, or the cat jumps off the table, you bolt upright in your bed, and the sleep that ensues is pretty patchy.

But you're right, I can't afford to have total trust in myself. I would never use it on myself - in that I have NO doubt. I've rationalised suicide before but would never actually do it. I know this, deep within.

It's the temper outbursts that I'd be worried about. Especially since I've been off the anti-psychotics, they've increased a bit. Pulling a gun on friends and family is something that would NEVER happen. But if somebody did break into my house, I might do something stupid. Like run into the lounge firing the thing like mad, and either getting shot in the process or killing about 5 people and landing up in court on manslaughter charges.

Think I'll give it a skip. Thanks for the input.