Thursday, September 27, 2007
Been going thru a rough patch. Can't work, exhausted, bleak. Been sleeping 12 hours a day this week.
You would think it is strange because this past week Spring has really sprung in the Southern Hemisphere. Glorious, hot, blue sky days. Most bipolars get their worst depression in mid-winter (see polls towards the bottom of this page).
But for me personally this has always been my worst time of the year, usually lasting up to mid November when Summer is well under way. Weird.
But I can see why it is so. In winter its easy to bunker down in your little world hidden away from the harsh non-bipolar world. But Spring brings out a kind of spotlight and shines brightly onto your pathetic isolated hermit's life. Whilst others are out surfing, partying and playing golf, your lethargic bedroom-bound days seem all the more pitiful. Its like you come up out of your winter hole blinking your eyes in the interrogating spotlights.
Don't get me wrong, by the time December comes I'm lapping up the sun and find that spending time outdoors is an automatic mood boost. It's just getting there that's the problem...
WBF - yeah, sorry about the non-non-fiction post. Bloggers been giving me some shit lately (like in the formatting of this very post!) and that other post was still in draft and wasn't meant to appear. It probably screwed up my RSS feeds too (please let me know if it did). I'll try repost it in the coming week.
ZZtopZ - lucid dream
K - I have a love/hate relationship with Jim Carrey. Apart from The Truman Show, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, and Number 23, the rest of his work irritates the shit out of me.
James - Here's another buddhist version:
"I meditate, therefore I am not"
and an existentialist version:
"I am, therefore I think."