Tuesday, October 04, 2005

The BiPolar's Dilemma

This down is a baddie. I just don't feel like doing anything - reading, listening to music, walking on the beach... And as for work today - that is just NOT going to happen. Its like this huge onboard inertia that I can't budge.

So how do I tackle it?
Berate myself, push myself, call on my last resources of self-discipline?
Excuse myself, don't be so hard on myself, hey, I'm a handicapped person?

This is the eternal dilemma. The problem with the first option is that it tends to just increase the guilt and bad feelings. This year, since my official diagnosis, I've had a lot more success with the second option. But the problem with the second option is: where does it all end? At what point do you HAVE TO take responsibility for your actions?

And although the "soft" approach has worked emotionally, it hasn't done any favours to my financial situation. What happens when my credit facilities run out? The bank couldn't give a f*** that I'm handicapped. Money owed is money owed. No discrimination there.

Any suggestions?


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  2. O.K so you have gone off the sceen.
    Been there before, usually a place of darkness or next to a fire.

    While you are licking your wounds, I would like to say your book is spot on.The difference is that I see and use numbers and you words.My WHY is 1.3.5...9. 5 happens to be the key and 9 is the answer I strive for.

    Read your book in a day and the paralles jumped out on each page & chapter.

    I'm only on Lithium now & it seem to be doing the trick. From time to time I joke about going unplugged when life is giving me uphill.

    Stay in the sun.


  3. Glad you enjoyed the book. At the time of that writing my BiPolar condition was not yet officially diagnosed. But you probably gathered that all was not as it seemed in Wisdom land.

    Next book will focus much more on accepting BiPolar


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