2 Types of Happiness

I've been alluding to it in the last few posts, so here's a full exposition:

Generally we (I?) tend to think of our BiPolar mood states as some kind of spectrum with total lack of excitement at the one end (depression) and total over excitement at the end (mania). And, as depression is at the "lack" end, I, for one, always equate happiness with excitement. No excitement and things are just plain bland.

The problem with this spectrum is where does contentment fit? Contentment doesn't need excitement, but it is certainly not depression.

One of the reasons why our society tends to concentrate on excitement rather than contentment is that the global economy depends on it. Producers need a populace of never-satisfied consumers, that want more and more and more. Advertising exploits this, pushing the cool of the latest trendiest goods (and the uncool of the older ones). The very last thing the global economy wants is a world of content people that are quite satisfied with their lot in life. Capitalism would grind to a halt. As Time magazine put it in a feature article on the contentment derived from regular meditation: "meditation helps you accumulate contentment, but not real estate."

So straight away, we've got the cards stacked against us with our quest for contentment. Advertising penentrates deeper into our psyches than most of us realise.

But for BiPolars, the contentment quest is even more difficult. Extreme happiness is exciting for sure. Exhilarating. Intoxicating. So when you've tasted mania or hypomania, which, by definition, is a state of over-excitement, we tend to become bored with, what for other people is normality - hence depression.

The German Philosopher Schopenhauer described it eloquently:

"as soon as want and suffering present rest to a man, ennui is at once so near that he necessarily requires diversion"

Yeah, I had to look up "ennui" in the dictionary:

"boredom and dissatisfaction resulting from lack of activity or excitement" - Collins Paperback Dictionary.

Spot on! Exactly what I've been trying to say in this post. Us BiPolars need mania to be unbored, but mania cannot be sustained, so boredom results in depression.

Which is why I'm gonna stick with meditation. Hoping to up it soon from 20 minutes a day to 25. Screw the real estate - I'll take the contentment and try keep out of the excitement/non-excitement spectrum for as long as I can.

It's no surprise that I've turned my attention to contentment. Having Miss L living with me, finally, after all these years, has bought a new mindset into my life. A deep calm. Contentment?

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Having said all of this I'm having a pretty shitty day. I try my hardest to divorce my thoughts from my moods, which is why this post sounds positive. The down is probably due to not getting a proper sleep for the past 4 nights. Bound to catch up with ya.