Feeling not Thinking

Not every meditation session is equal. Some go good, some go bad. Hopefully they get slowly better as time goes on.

This morning was my best session of the whole year. Focusing on the breath alone was not doing it for me, so a few weeks back I tuned into the ringing sound in my ears. But I struggled with that. It's just too monotone to hold my attention. Maybe one day I'll be able to zone in on sound alone.

Today I just cocentrated on feeling my body, the breathing vessel attached to my mind. The weight of it. The pulse of it. The subtle tingle of air on the surface of it. The aliveness of it.

And I started feeling a bliss. Like the universe was gently tickling me. I could hear my heart beat. My whole body felt like it was in a mild hard-on state, but an eternally sustainable hard-on, not a momentary one that collapses in ejaculation. An exhilerating but peaceful itch.

And I felt how good it was to be alive. Not doing anything else. Just being alive. Pulsing with the universe. Aware of my full being.

When the meditation ended, a spacious calm stayed with me for at least an hour. Mrs M was doing the dishes, I offered to take over, feeling the warm water enveloping my hands. The smooth surfaces of the plates. The cold iron of the spoons. All connecting with me.

Aware.

So today's been a special day. But I'm gonna give it a "Half-way House". I'm never satisfied with Halfway Houses, they're just not as exciting as "In-the-Pinks". But if you treat them right, and trade a little contentment for excitement, it might just be that Halfway Houses are the best place to be.