Ringing in my Ears
At last - connected directly to Blogger! (no more posting by email)
Seems like a lot of BiPolars experience ringing in their ears. Personally I don't think it is our own creation. I think it's out there for all to hear, but it's only the ones with greater perceptive powers that actually do here it. Which seems to indicate that BiPolar's are more perceptive than most. I'd agree with this - we tend to experience things deeper and more intensely than others.
The first time I became fully aware of the ringing sound was when I was travelling around Israel. In Jerusalem I hooked up with a British guy and we headed into the desert (no, it wasn't for 40 days!) Just before Masada, west of the dead sea, we found a desolate spot of dunes and small canyons. And that's where I discovered the sound of silence. There wasn't a breath of wind, and my buddy and I talked for a while. Then, as soon as we stopped talking, the stillness would rush back with an intense ringing sound. Talk again, and it would instantly dissapear. Stop again, and it would rush back. The sound of silence.
Or maybe it's not the sound of silence. Maybe, as my favourite philosopher, Pythagoras, said: it is "the music of the spheres". Pythagoras claimed that he heard the music of the spheres his whole life.
In Hindu philosophy too, there is a sound of the universe. The sound of the beginning and the end (and the beginning of the end, of the beginning of the end...) Ohmmmm.
I suppose in some cases sounds unheard by others could be construed as audio hallucinations. Hallucinations, both audio and visual, is one thing I've never experienced. Even in my worst psychoses they were absent. The delusions on the other hand, were probably as severe as delusions can get. Once you believe that you're God, you can't possibly get more deluded.
Anyhow, whatever it is, I will continue tuning into the ringing on my daily meditations. I was feeling so crappy yesterday that I went to have a BP check. Blood Pressure, not BiPolar. Last year my BP was slightly high and I figured that with the weight I've put on since stopping smoking in November, the restart of 30 smokes a day in the last 2 weeks, and the HUGE stress levels of late, my BP could be a culprit. BIG surprise - my BP was the best it's ever been. Why? It can only be attributed to the meditation. Even the nurse thought so.
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It's amazing what a good night's sleep can do. I've had a very productive morning and the blues have been banished (for now).
There could be other reasons for it, but medically speaking ringing in the ears is hearing damage, which so many people have. What is more significant is that you have found a way, through the meditation, to stop all the OTHER extraneous sound and mental traffic and actually experience the most basic of you. To get things so quiet that you are that close to your essence, I bet that can be at times scary, but hearing that ringing is pretty darn normal.
ReplyDeleteI only say this with the slightest of authority as my medical transcription class discussed the ringing of the ears in class Monday. A little information can be annoying for others, no? Have a great day, BiPolar Guy.
Sincerely,
Tart
Here's a keeper from twelve years ago. I hope you like it.
ReplyDeleteelsewise slice me sideways and let me vent some spleen
the voice one hears inside one says that isn't what i mean
once upon a time there was a ringing in my ears
that catapulted meaning lessened utterances here
i can rhyme and double time prime time is now here's how it's done
meander faster than the eye yet seldom quicker than the tongue
stumped on stage, a caged chump
lumps of pages through i thump
gin mastered, been faster, shin plasters all spent
galoshes all sloshing and brimming intent
the boots to the laggard, he can't pay the rent
remember the postcards that should have been sent
one nose to the grindstone, expound full extent
one nose to the ground for we're keen on the scent
the bloodhound's found fudd and the wabbit's still bent
on obscuring all insight whatever was meant
at one dime a dozen that's sixty-three cents
offside, offstage and off his rocker
I too have the ringing in my ears. Not very loudly, but it never goes away.
ReplyDeleteI value it. Perhaps it is why I have become nocturnal
Mage
I have the ringing as I have said before and it has been tentatively diagnosed as audial hallucinations but the treatment didnt help any. So I am thinking that that is not the explanation. I have been reading a blog by a man who is currently having ETC and he is complaining about it increasing with each session. as I have also had ETC it makes me wonder..... I think I am gonna ask the GP about it rather than the shrink next time I go
ReplyDeleteI have it, but I always attributed it to being a product of the seventies, and one too many concerts standing so close to a two-story bank of speakers I could touch them.
ReplyDeletealright, i'll give meditation a chance again.
ReplyDeleteringing right now. silence is deafening.