Total Paradigm Shift
Sometimes depression is a good thing. Like on Saturday when I focused all day on my dire financial situation. I could have chosen to push it out my mind and avoid the ineviatable depression (like I've been doing for the past 5 years) but the depression was neccessary. It is often only when the rut gets uncomfortable that we are able to leave it.
So yesterday I put in 5 hours work. Yeah, a friggin Sunday! And from now on work is gonna be a top priority. I'm gonna make this business work. I've been successful in business before and I can do it again. It's not like I've only had BiPolar for the past 5 years. I've had it my whole life (albeit undiagnosed), including the 5 years that I built up my mini business empire.
OK, so I must have turned a million and three "new leaves" the past 5 years. But this time it seems to be different. Maybe it's got something to do with Miss L living with us. Deep down I can feel a stirring, and a kind of unshakeable faith that I'm finally gonna get my arse into gear.
And this time I'm not doing it to sit in a fkn corner 9th floor office, drive a fkn cabrio or join a top fkn gym. This time I'm doing it just to keep what I got, because I'm very happy with what I got (so maybe there has been some progress in the past 5 years too?)
One day hopefully I'll look back at this post and say "Ah...that was the turning point".
Awesome work, BPG!! Shifting your focus and working through your depression is just amazing.
ReplyDeleteKeep it up!
Mage
Thats awesome and sounds like a nice sane comittment - not a manic grandiose flight of fancy. I have faith that you can do this
ReplyDeleteGood luck to you. I hope all goes well and it isn't one of those commitments we make that fall down around us.
ReplyDeleteLight depression can be a great friend because in it we face reality. As long as you're not becoming paralyzed or suicidal, just use it for shining the light and doing what needs to be done.
ReplyDeleteHello,
ReplyDeleteI found your blog via technorati and landed in an entry on a black tunnel wherein you spoke of your belief that forms of breakdown can be spiritual in nature.
Rather than repeat myself, I'll just say that I agree and point you in the direction of my blog which may have some articles of interest for a person who believes such as you do.
PS: I added your book, Branch of Wisdom, to my Related Links section. Feel free to let me know if you have any objection.
ReplyDeleteIt's exciting to know that your life is taking a turn for the better. I found this book on Amazon & am thinking of ordering it, I think it's worth checking out. It's called The Bipolar Advantage
ReplyDeletehere is the link:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0977442306/ref=wl_it_dp/102-8676622-1527367?%5Fencoding=UTF8&colid=39ZC7IM0ZIUZE&coliid=I23OFB4K08LCNS&v=glance&n=283155
It definitely sounds like progress to me. Although the gym membership, no matter how top-notch, would not have been much of a pull for me. But anyway...I guess we see what kind of progress I could presently use!
ReplyDelete"but the depression was neccessary"
ReplyDeleteI know it. When I feel it, I roll with it. Maybe some times I should try NOT to roll with it