Sunday, February 26, 2006

What Went Wrong?

The time is June 2000. BiPolar Guy sits in his office, leather swivel chair facing towards the floor-to-ceiling glass windows of his 9th floor corner office. From this awesome viewpoint the whole of Durban can be seen. It is a large office furnished lavishly in dark wood and plush carpets. On the wall a long row of framed awards, earned over the past few years for quality and quantity of business. Next to them his Bachelor of Commerce degree and Board exam certificate which he passed first shot.

His door is closed so as to shut out the bustle of his other 6 staff members who occupy the rest of the offices. He can hear Carol sitting in the boardroom negotiating a deal with a client. Since BPG's book on investments was published, a stream of clients from all over the country have been banging down the door to do business with BPG. Every few weeks an article he has authored appears in the national press. Shit, he even has to turn some clients away. He can hear two competing broker consultants in the reception area - they've all been scrambling to do business with BPG. But he's too busy to even see them, they have to deal with his PA.

BPG glances at his bank balances. Stuffed with cash! Not one cent of debt anywhere. The money just keeps rolling in. He started the business from his 2 bed apartment with a measly 10 000 Rand loan 4 years ago, and from there the upward march has never stopped.

It's 4pm. In 30 minutes BPG will be heading down to the beachfront for his afternoon run. He is super-fit, toned and tanned. He hasn't smoked a cigarette for 8 years now and doesn't drink coffee. In between the beachfront runs he does weight-training at the snazzy gym in Westville.
Man, life is good.

Sunday 26th February 2006: BPG sits typing his daily blog - one of the few highlights of his day. Its 6h30 in the morning. He's on his second cup of strong coffee and his 3rd cigarette. Without them he can't drag himself out of bed in the mornings. He daren't even look at his bank balances. The amount of debt he is in is shit scary. And it's not credit card debt - he exhausted that avenue year's ago. Its the ever increasing mortgage on his house. In the past 4 years he's turned his mortgage into an ATM.

Nor does he dare step onto the bathroom scale. The only thing keeping up with the debt is his expanding waistline. Maybe he should step up his walking on the beach. He only manages about 2 walks a week. Did somebody mention running? You gotta be fckn joking man. BPG run? Never.


  1. So, what happened there between?

    (I guess I must read the whole blog to get the answer)

  2. Same as it ever was. Same as it ever was.

  3. When I first entered a day hospitalization program a couple of years ago, I kept dwelling on the difference in my life just a few years/months before, and as it was then. I couldn't believe how I got to where I was, I just couldn't.

    Sometimes I still can't believe how my life is now compared to when I was functional, but it doesn't help to dwell on it. Or maybe I'm just used to my current situation.

  4. Hey Chris , you know how the saying goes, a good share always returns to it's previous high and then surpasses that level.

    But this takes time.

    The guy in Durbs tends to sound like a prick.

    You however now, could be worth getting to know.

    Wisdom and knowledge comes with time.

    Maybe we should meet.I am in the bay north of you, the one with the woods.



  5. I agree with Barb, what purpose does it serve to beat yourself up? There are so many phases in my life I could beat myself up about, but why?
    This is where you are now. At least you exercise twice a week! Still count your blessings and don't forget, YOU are a blessing.

  6. You got a great blog man. I can realte about the things going your way and than totally going the opposite after Bipolar hitting. Keep up the writing because it gives me someone to relate to as well as something to read and be entertained by. It sucks doesn't it.


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