The Dopamine Mystery
Dopamine is an area I desperately need to do some more research on. I consider myself fairly well researched on most aspects of BiPolar. But not the brain chemical stuff. OK, I know a little about Serotonin Reuptake blah blahs, Omega 3 fatty acids and THC. But Dopamine is a grey area (buried deep somewhere in the grey matter).
Dopamine has been cropping up in my life in some peculiar ways of late, and I'm beginning to suspect that it's pretty central to my issues. It first reared it's head 2 weeks a go when I took Miss L to see a psychiatrist about her cutting. We were talking about the addictive nature of cutting and Madam psychiatrist explained that cutting could actually stimulate a dopamine release - which gives one a euphoric rush. She went on to say that a lot of addictions are backed by Dopamine, specifically weed. "Which is no doubt, why you liked weed so much", see said. (I'd given her a brief history on my own background).
About a week later, Dopamine popped up again, this time at my own psychiatrist. I'd gone to see her for that damn report that the court requires, but at the same time discussed one of my worsening med side effects - shaking hands. Since upping the Lamictal from 200mg to 250mg, the tremor, which has been there for a few years now, has got considerably worse. It's not life threatening or anything, but I'm becoming very self-conscious and uncomfortable with it. I love coffee shops. But these days when I lift cup to lip, the dang cup shakes so much that it sometimes spills. And I feel like everyone is checking me out, concluding that I'm one hectic alcoholic (which is a kinda cruel joke, because I don't drink).
Dr R reckoned that it was more likely the anti-psychotic that I take which was the culprit. I've been on Fluanxol for 15 years now (0.5 mg every day). Flaunxol is an old style anti-psychotic and not as "targeted" as it's new generation counterparts. And "whereas the newer ones target specific areas of the brain", Dr R explains, "Fluanxol blankets out Dopamine on a large scale."
I made a little mental note of the correlation between Dr N's dopamine and Dr R's dopamine, and filed it away in one of the overflowing cabinet drawers at the back of my head. But it was not until a few days later that I truly began to realise that dopamine had a mainstage role in the ebbs and flows of my life.
As worried about my shaking as I am, the horrid idea of Parkinson's Disease crossed my mind. So I did what anyl self-respecting netizen would do - I consulted O Master Oracle, Google. And it wasn't long before I landed up on Michael J Fox's excellent site. And guess what was all over the site? Dopamine!!
Next, Mrs M does some research on the side effects of Fluanxol, and holy shit: "Fluanxol should not be taken by Parkinson's sufferers, as it could worsen the symptoms".
Not that I think that I've Got Parkinson's. But I'm sure as damn hell gonna make a plan to stop Fluanxol. I'll update when any further light is shed on the Dopamine mystery. But I'll have to bury myself in some hardcore research first.
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Feeling a bit better today. Maybe I did manage to stave the flu off.
I too have a bit of a shake which strangely becomes more pronounced when others are looking at me. When I eat with utensils at a restaurant for instance, I find people looking at me funny and I realize the the fork is moving a little too much. I try to focus on keeping it even, because it makes me feel self-concious and judged, which as you said, is so unfair as I have done nothing to warrant speculation.
ReplyDeleteThe brain and its workings are almost the last frontier of understanding for today's researchers. I was disappointed when the 1990's as the 'Decade of the Brain' as it was called did not really pan out. I read with interest in the NY Times about how researchers were also disappointed with brain scans, thinking for sure they would be a good diagnostic tool and in fact are varied with each person, and they are not able to 'use' them like they would have liked. Thank you for bringing up brain chemicals, because it is essential to understanding our illness, yet still in a frustrating infancy.
Dr R reckoned that it was more likely the anti-psychotic that I take which was the culprit. I've been on Fluanxol for 15 years now (0.5 mg every day). Flaunxol is an old style anti-psychotic and not as "targeted" as it's new generation counterparts. And "whereas the newer ones target specific areas of the brain", Dr R explains, "Fluanxol blankets out Dopamine on a large scale."
ReplyDeleteCould it be related to tardive dyskinesia? Perhaps it would be worth a follow-up trip to your psychiatrist to exchange the fluanxol for something else. Yet another option might be to come off the anti-psychotics entirely.