Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Dear Blog...

I'm not sure what's happening to me at the moment. Can you tell me O Blog? You've been in my life now every day for 7 months. Every day, early in the morning, we rendezvous, two trusted old friends.

But things are changing at the moment. Lots of changes. I'm finding it an effort to keep up our daily appointment. Not that I've got anything against you or anything, it's just like the need is no longer there.

Why? Is it the meditation? Am I approaching some kind of contentment level where I'm just happy to live from moment to moment, let things be, no need to comment? And if this is so, is it a good thing?

Am I slipping into a deep depression that I've failed to recognise? I don't think so, but I cannot deny that any urge to express myself, whether through concrete poetry, my next book, or even you O Blog, has practically dried up. But on the other hand some things have picked up. I'm walking more on the beach. I've been putting longer and better quality hours into my business. I'm getting really involved in Miss L's life.

But why am I needing so much sleep at the moment? Right now there's nothing I'm looking more forward to than sleep. Just to curl up, zone out, sink into the soft mattress.

What's going on? Is this just a patch that will blow over in a few days? Or is it one of those major paradigm shifts that I keep having every couple of years? And if it is a paradigm shift - where to now? Which way the new goal posts? Will there even be goal posts? What will I take with, what will I leave behind? Will I leave you behind? Or are you leaving me behind?

If you have any answers O Blog, any little explanation for what's going on - I'm all ears...

Yours BPG


  1. I swear I don't know what is going on. It seems that there are many of us going through what you are describing. I went through mine for about 2 months. I don't know if this is coincidence but the ones I know that are going through it are all bipolars. Is it something we will go through? Part of the disease? I can make myself post now at least. There for awhile I couldn't even do that. It just wasn't in me. At least you are finding company in other things. That is good. You may just need a break from blogging, not to cut it off completely. Take care and God bless.

  2. I go thru stages of what I call "quietness" I just dont have anything to say. Its not that anything is wrong. I am just quiet

  3. The need comes and goes. You can't write if it's not in your heart. Take a break - everyone's creativity and motivation needs it from time to time. We'll check back now and then to see when you're back.


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