Friday, October 06, 2006

I can no longer afford to be depressed

It's 4 am down here. I've been awake since 3 am. I've been thinking really hard the last few days. WE ARE IN SHIT. (We meaning Mrs M, Miss L and I). We're living in a country that is falling apart at the seams. There is no future here. Least of all for Miss L who has her whole life ahead of her. We need to act fast, and we need to act now. Before our currency collapses totally, rendering us paupers in any new country we might land.

Secondly: I did all my financial accounts yesterday, and we're in the dwang. The whole court case thing with Miss L is going to rear it's ugly head again in the next few months and if lawyer's fees from the last little bout are anything to go by, we're gonna need a mega loan just to get through that.

In short: time for BPG to get his act together. No more moping around whimpering about depression. It is SINK or SWIM dudes.

The only thing going right now is that I believe I can do it. Deep down I KNOW I can do it. I've been through shit before. And when the Do-or-Die situations arise, I've always had these deep reserve forces that I didn't even know about. In fact, in a funny way, it's the comfort zone and complacency that feeds the depression.

Immediate Priority: Resurrect my business. No more fcking around 3-hours-work-a-day shit. Get the bottom line where it's fckn supposed to be.

2. Weather out the financial squeeze for the next few months.

3. Get through the Miss L court case. Once that's over a huge amount of pressure will be released.

4. Start making serious plans to get an emmigration visa. Canada or Australia (yes, even sheep-shagger country is now an option)

DO NOT LOSE SIGHT OF THIS REALISATION. Come depression, come mania, come what may, this is reality. I have seen it. It's not gonna go away.


  1. ok this might be stupid but I feel I should tell ya:
    Have you ever lived in Canada or any other country that is very VERY cold??

    Cuz if you havent, here's the deal: more often than not -40 and snow for freaking 4 months of the year is NOT GOOD for depression.

    But then again for some weird reason, cold weather triggers full-blown mania in ME.

    I'd say Australia is the way to go, though I'm a complete hypocrite sinec I've applied to go to College in Canada.

  2. Best of luck with everything.

    Hey Sarah, Canada is great. We might get the cold and snow where I am in Canada, but we get lots of sun.

  3. Have you thought of stockpiling some of your currency in a more stable exchange such as marks, bucks, or pounds?

  4. Just think of all the money you'd be blowing if you were actually manic, and lighten up! ;-)

  5. Actually, sarah woo-hoo, it's when spring finally rolled around that this ex-pat Canadian first got bit by the manic bug. Perhaps laying off coffee and donuts in the winter might help. I find a hip-flask of whisky takes the jitters out of the coffee, and whole-grain muffins are a healthier alternative to apple fritters or dutchies, but the day-old bags at La Maison du Croissant Ltee are still the best deal on Yonge St. :-)

  6. my hubby moved to Canada from cape town and met me! I was in Cape Town this year... maybe moving to canada or austrailia would lower your stress levels... good luck with your endeavours!

  7. Quotes of the Day (All from BiPolar Guy)

    I'm not leaving
    No. Fucken. Way.
    Sunday, September 24, 2006

    Start making serious plans to get an emmigration visa.
    Friday, October 06, 2006

    The power of decision is THE most important part of a human's freedom of choice.

    Is BiPolar Guy actually making decisions here?

  8. I live in Michigan's thumb and Sarnia, Ontario, Canada is just across the river. The weather in southern Ontario varies greatly depending on your proximity to one of the Great Lakes. A Carolinian forest and tobacco farms are in the area just north of Lake Erie -- mild winters compared to the North. The part of Ontario across from me and nearly all the way to Toronto has perhaps one month (January) of below zero (F) tempts and it isn't more than -20 at its coldest. I practically lived in Tornoto for two years of weekend and holiday trips to be with my boyfriend. The weather there was no worse than mid-Michigan.


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