Monday, October 09, 2006

Man down

I'm fucked.
In the biggest hole I've been in for 3 years. Maybe ever.
Been lying in bed for 2 days with a huge lump in my throat.
Why?
Plenty reasons. But one main one which I've been blocking out.
Miss L cut her wrists again last week.

Man, I don't know how much more I can take.

Somehow I'm gonna have to scrape myself off the ground.

Or the whole house is gonna come tumbling down.

6 comments:

  1. smuck fog indeed!
    not well myself.
    12 hour sleep night before last, 14 last, do i feel rested? hell no! i knew that, yet i continue to let the withdrawl be my only comfort, away from the noise...
    so do me a favour.
    get up.
    wash.
    go out for a long walk.
    that is what i'm going to do right now. a long walk in the sunshine.
    good luck.
    we can force the issue...rather than give in to it's warm fuzzy horror...you know that too, right?
    take care.
    honestly.

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  2. and however awful it seems, you are not responsible for another's act. you can be strong for her, however. good luck. i'm rooting around for some strength to send you both( and i do have a lot, just ignore it too often! )

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  3. sweetpetlamb09 October, 2006

    thinking about you and sending good vibes from nyc! It will get better.

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  4. I hope that Miss L. is getting some heavy-duty counselling and care from someone right now. As a father of a five-year old daughter I simply dread the teenage years. I still remember what a terror I was! I also hope you can find the energy to sit down with your daughter when the time is right and tell her in as many words as it's going to take exactly why and how much you love her. My thoughts and best wishes are with you and your family.

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  5. Is Miss L bipolar or borderline?

    Poor kid. I was like that when I was in school.

    Just be a good daddy and listen.

    Hang in there, all of you.

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  6. My kid used to cut. I asked her why and she said because it made the emotional pain physical. Since then she's been diagnosed as bipolar and has some good meds to help with that pain.

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