Thursday, November 30, 2006


It's that Idea Flow Rate thing. Wayyy too many ideas, wayyy too fast. Wish it was like a tap that I could just adjust and close a little. Especially at 3 am in the morning when I'm trying to sleep (very little sleep last night...) The problem is that there's always the danger you'll shut the tap too much and then you'll just be left with the drip........drip.......drip.... of chronic depression.

Or maybe it's like one of those showers that you can never get the balance between hot and cold right. A milimeter clockwise and it's too hot. Milimeter anti-clockwise and it's too cold. BiPolar shower for sure.

Or maybe its just like trying to drive a car out of this field of mud I've been in the 5 past years. The minute I open the throttle, the wheels just start spinning. Getting nowhere.


Or maybe it's like this vast dam, and the anti-psychotics I was on for 15 years (and weaned myself off this year) were the Dam wall. And now the flood gates are open. Damn.


  1. So often on your posts I feel like you've read my mind... this is one of those times.

  2. use this strength to make magic.
    when i lose that power i feel so empty, i know it's hard to harness but DO IT! make miracles and make beauty,now is when you can do it.and remembering the pain like a sharp edged knife you are at you best now GO! remove distractions if you can, i'm keeping my fingers crossed for you

  3. Wow. What a fantastic way to descibe bipolar. I actually own a shower that's like that and its a good analogy for this illness.

    That will make me smile tomorrow when I go to get washed!

  4. ((((BPG)))))) havent found any to control it so the only thing I can figure is to ride it when I can


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