Thursday, January 25, 2007

Looking for positives in depression

I'm pretty damn down at the mo. Have been for the past 3 days. Total lethargy. Fatigue. Torpor. Feel like I'm swimming in glue.

So I thought that this morning I'm going to try and peer into this depression and see if i can find any positives in being down. There must be positives. Every bad has got a spot of good, and good a spot of bad.

Let's see...

OK, for one thing I'm not wanting to buy anything at the mo. I look up and down my wishlist ( a prime motivator when I'm NOT depressed) and I'm thinking, well actually, why do I really want these things? A plus, surely.

And also I'm kind of placid right now. Since coming off the anti-psychotics my temper has been closer than usual, but in this state I don't think anything could make me angry. Grumpy sure, but not angry. A good thing?

My meditation sessions are going better. Meditation is one of those really weird things that seem to go better when you're down rather than up. When things are zipping along nicely the meditative mind often flits all over the place, whereas a slow mind is much easier to conjure into a trance.

I suppose too, that this depressive state is more conducive to serious soul-searching, something you don't have the time to do when things are going well. Not sure though that this is a positive. I've had so many years of soul-searching that what what my life is needing right now is some action, not further searches.

But I guess the best thing about this current slump, is looking forward to the end of it. When it finally blows over (and it WILL blow over) I'm going to appreciate normality more gratefully than I ever could have without it.

And now I'll just go and continue wallowing in the negatives...


  1. "I am as happy as a pig in shit" is the thought that came to my mind in reading your latest entry.

    Seeing the positive in the negative. "Every cloud has a silver lining!"

    Platitudes are Great ;)

  2. The good thing about feeling down is, I don't have to restrain myself as much, from doing all kinds of crazy stuff.

    Am less delusional too.

  3. what goes up, goes down, goes back up.

    in another 3 days you'll be feeling great again.

    ride the wave, my man. hang ten.

  4. i recall one of your w0rd art pieces re: depression... drop the de and take out the i and all you got left is:

    !!!! PRESS ON !!!!

    ah, those bootstrap:z, there has never been a better platitude than that.

    ps: willbefine, try harharderrrrrrrr!

  5. The best thing about depression?
    Long, restful sleep. Perhaps it's what you need.

  6. z0tl, transatlantic translation to English required.

    What does "harharderrrrrr!" mean?

    Does it mean somone with a stutter pronouncing, "harder" ?

    If so, what do I need to try harder at?

  7. i really dunno, moman, har-har is ya no, liek malicious grinnin like, i guess i wanted you to come up with greater platitudes next time, i can't remember now, man, my non-linear mind does not operate according to english ISO9001 standard:z!

    but there are 8 r's in there, at least that's portentous, at least to me, a holy EIGHT myself. get used to my never making sense, dood, i'm certifiable...

  8. depression is a great appetite suppressant for me


Recent Posts