An unfit parent
I can see now how some therapy patients can just bottle up, repress, and not want to go to certain places. Up until this point I've always been a totally open person in therapy situations. Pour it all out. Every last drop of it.
But this latest saga with Miss L has taken such a morbid twist that I'm at the point of just totally detaching my mind from it. I am so damn tired of explaining myself to lawyers, psychologists, social workers, family members and anybody else who feels my life is their business. I am tired of defending myself against false allegations by a person who is now dead. In fact, it is impossible - how can you ever do that? I'm absolutely exhausted with this shit.
They've poisoned Miss L's mind against me for 7 years now. They've convinced her that I am an unfit father. I've had my teeth kicked out so many times, that I have no teeth left.
So I think I've reached the point where I will just settle for the verdict. OK guys, I am an unfit parent. Now just leave me alone. Oh, and don't forget to look out for Miss L, you've all screwed her head up, and I won't be able to pick up the pieces any longer.
Yeah, I reckon I can live with that. Like I said yesterday, I am at peace with myself, and it seems these days that that is the best you can ever do...
talk about a great new year's start eh?
ReplyDeletei've just found out my dad was a pedophile who molested my auntie who's practically my sister
and you with all that shit with miss L.
Here comes the free-will part BPG. She lives with you doesn't she? They've kicked you but so far, I don't see they've won. You still have the bigger piece of the rope, keep pulling, do not detach yourself from it. She's YOUR daughter and whether you're bipolar or a pedophile, that's not gonna change. They cannot change that fact. Keep fighting, you only see your teeth broken, but I'll bet you've broken their fucking jaws.
Ah, yes the stigma of irresponsibility toward us bipolar folk. People think we are slackers and little do they know how much we fight, work and strive in life.
ReplyDeleteI got so sick of lawyers, judges, psych's, pdocs and others when I was going through my disability case.
You got a sh*t sandwhich, there's no doubt about it. I'm glad though that you've found a little bit of peace and that is a lot for us people.
You know how they say, "day by day??" Well I prefer "hour by hour" and sometimes "minute by minute."
Miss L, will see clearly one day the true father you are. Please don't give up. Somethings are definately worth fighting for.
ReplyDeleteI haven't had to deal with the 'unfit parent' tag yet, ( Thank God I'm not living in Canada! ) but I'm currently trying to register my daughter in elementary school and there seems to be a problem. She's Korean but I'm not and the geniuses in administration can't seem to figure out how to register her as living with me, even though I have custody and have registered and claimed her as a dependent with immigration, on my taxes and with my health insurance. There's something here in Korea called a 'family registry' and only Koreans can be on it. Is that racist or what? One day soon I'll be walking into a government office and forcibly yanking heads out of asses. Won't that be fun?
ReplyDeleteKeep your punches low and ignore the belts! Since when have bureaucrats and doctors ever fought fair?
Be at peace with yourself as to the kind of parent you are. Your daughter will form her own opinion based on how you treat her and that is all that really matters.
ReplyDelete"Unfit" is another societal label
Just what we need is a judgment
call from someone who knows absolutely nothing about the relationship between bipolar father and daughter! m