Monday, December 10, 2007

Ahead of the curve

As a BiPolar I'm used to being out of synch with the monopole segment of society but I' starting to develope a sleeping pattern that is pushing me more n more out to the fringe.

I LOVE getting up early. For the past 3 years I've been getting up at 5am, and I'm now looking at shifting this to 4h30am or even 4am.

Don't get me wrong - I get my 8 hours sleep as I usually crash at about 9ish in the evenings. But I LOVE getting going early in the morning. And I don't sit around either, I like to get my dialy Chi Qong and Meditation completed right up front. And when that's done I like tackling my work. There's nothing that makes you feel better than cranking out replies to emails when the rest of the world is still in slumberland. You feel like you're getting an unfair start on them all. AHEAD OF THE CURVE.

Now I'm thinking its time to cut my sleep from 8 hrs to about 7. Its meant to be good for depression - and I've experienced this many times - too much sleep = DOWN next day. Less than normal sleep = GOOD day. It goes without saying that this has to be excuted with balance though, because TOO little sleep = MANIA.

In fact, in the good ol' days before PDocs could slaughter your cerebral cells with fancy chemicals, sleep deprivation was a common treatment for depression.

Mrs M is not as keen as I am on the 4h30 move, but I've located some silent "vibrating" alarm clocks, so it should be workable. Of course being about 11 days away from Mid-Summer down here towards the Southern Pole makes the 4h30 thing that much more alluring. Not sure if I'd maintain it in Mid-winter.


  1. dude, what happened to sleep when sleepy, eat when hungry, fuck when horny?

    always tweaking, should do this, should do that, never good enough to sit with what it is you're doing.

    life changes you inevitably, why try to change yourself?

    do the tao leaf, man, flow with IT!

  2. Wow! Your schedule and ability to complete anything/everything just makes it more clear to me how much I'm suffering from debilitating depression.

    I don't think I've willingly gotten up early for years (unless it was to start a trip or go fishing). And, believe it or not, I use to be a 'day person.' one who woke up early and woke everyone else up and didn't see the big deal in it. I have proof because Husband remembers, and its been a loong relationship.

    He says I was a 'Day person' up until my last huge mental hospital experience, and then both he and my mom notice it was gone, and I can't wake up in the morning for nothing.

    Even when I worked, my last job I didn't have to be there until the afternoon! So, I know I slept til 11 am, got ready and went. After leaving them, I 'really' said the hell with them, schedule, all of it and it feels like 2 years of depressive, of complete not bothering to get up til laate (afternoon).

    Now you could call me lazy or call me depressed. I think its miraculous a person could even continue to subsist while suffering literally from years of depression.

    Either way, I've now taken to not doing a thing with dishes, cleaning, and not doing laundry until I absolutely have to. Perhaps I should post pictures at least of the dishes on my blog. Oh the humanity!!:)

  3. well now seeing as you are on the other side of the world with the time differences......... we might be on the same schedule....:P

  4. oh and I am totally with zotl on this one. I sleep when sleepy, eat when hungry and yes *&^%*& when horny except that now I am taking care of a very ill person I have to go by times and appts but when this is over I will return to living by do as I feel when I feel way of life

  5. LOL@z0tl. I must say, that's exactly what I've been thinking about recently. My routines someday drive me crazy(er) I think. But if I didn't have my routines, I'll do absolutely fuckall all day. Even though I just feel like sitting around, "being", I have to work out little schedules and routines like BPG to get myself up and going.

    It's hard to do those routines, like today I had to whip myself into submission to get myself to wash the lounge floor, and I still have Mount Everest worth of washing to iron. (The floor took me 2 hours - that's demoralising. Normally it would take me 1 hour max). But somehow, with the little routines, doing the same thing every day, you at least get some stuff done and you have some sense of achievement that's very good for that "swimming-in-mud" feeling.

    The books that I have read all say so, and I've tried and tested it. I don't say that I get it right every day, but tomorrow is another day and if you have a routine (bcs humans are creatures of habit), you start over with your routine and maybe tomorrow you achieve more than you did today.

  6. One evening last summer I answered a family member's query regarding my day with the single triumph of having started the dishwasher. We both laughed but it was amazing I'd been able to do even that.

    I MUST have a modicum of little things done daily to feel alive and stave-off depression. Right now I'm hypo-manic so a monster of efficiency. Always am this time of year, winter in North America. Come summer, look out. I'll most likely be back to "begging my bread".

    No Buddhist here.


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