Friday, July 07, 2006

51 things about me

  • travelled in 34 countries
  • had 6 sessions of shock treatment
  • been previously diagnosed as paranoid schizophrenic
  • been interviewed on the radio 12 times
  • picked a fight with a guy in high school and got my head pummeled in
  • Had sex with a stranger (not a hooker) 30 minutes after meeting her
  • lived for 2 years in London
  • was drunk at my wedding (a bottle of Jack Daniels later...)
  • had a daughter out of wedlock
  • been a finalist in 2 photographic competitions
  • beat a provincial player at chess (his mistakes, not my strengths I was assured)
  • fell down a cliff at age 13, broke both arms and fractured a vertebrae
  • cheated on a partner
  • had a book on investments published
  • been punched in the face by my dad
  • done a 10 day silent Buddhist retreat
  • have an anorexic sister
  • got so drunk, I vomited in a fancy restuarant
  • had a best friend who was charged with breaking into a chemist (drug store)
  • kidnapped my own daughter
  • walked the Via del Rosa (Christ's last walk of the cross in Jerusalem)
  • had a letter published in Time Magazine
  • wheelied a motorbike for 1 mile
  • forged a signature
  • been accused of attempted rape (wrongly)
  • punched a hole in a door
  • smoked Mandrax and Opium, snorted Cocaine
  • done illegal graffitti
  • been hospitalised for depression
  • balanced a walking stick on my finger for an hour
  • got hit by a freak wave in gale force winds sailing from Durban to Cape Town
  • run away from the police
  • had a website since 1997
  • run out of a restuarant without paying the bill
  • Sat in the middle chamber of the Great Pyramid in Egypt
  • run out of a taxi without paying the bill
  • been hit on by a guy
  • patented a product
  • been awarded a medal for military duty in a combat zone
  • came top of my class in first year philosophy masters degree
  • Won "Best Dressed Couple" at the races
  • had a blow job while driving my car
  • had sex with a hooker
  • applied unsuccesfully to get into Harvard
  • read Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance 4 times
  • eaten frog's legs
  • completed the Cape Argus cycle race
  • successfully sued someone for copyright infringment
  • stood in Nelson Mandela's prison cell
  • Sipped a drink at the top of the World Trade Centre
  • Sold 2 buinesses I started from scratch (so far...)

Hey Kodeureum, I wasn't meaning for a one-up-man-ship, so here some more things about me which I am way less than proud of:

  • I have a radical phobia of public speaking
  • (as result of above) I did not make a speech at my own wedding
  • My hands shake so badly that often I spill my tea (and I DON'T drink alcohol)
  • My total actual career work for the past 5 years has averaged 1.5 hours a day
  • Not one quarter in 5 years have I made more money than I've spent
  • My weight can drop 10kg in 3 months and then add back 12kg in the next 3
  • I'm in more debt than the average south african earns in 10 years
  • I can count my close friends on one hand
  • I'm on non-speaking terms with at least 4 former best-friends from my lifetime
  • I never answer my business phone - it has a permanent message telling people they'd do better by emailing
  • I don't answer my mobile or home phone if I don't recognise the number
  • I snore
  • I'm a total recluse
  • I'm totally intraverted
  • I can be self-obsessed
  • I've often got aches and pains
  • I nearly bring up when I have to clean the doggy-do off the lawn
  • I would be too scared to use the job refernces from my last 5 employers due to the bad terms I left on
  • I've falsified my financial info in order to get loans
  • and a million more.....


  1. It seems you're just taunting for a bit of one-upmanship. Here's a starter:

    - I talked myself out of jail in Oxford, England
    - I kicked out the rear passenger window of a police car while in custody in Toronto
    - I lost my virginity age seventeen to a woman who picked me up at a punk gig after I had drunk a litre and a half of cheap white wine
    - I dropped out of high school and am now a visiting professor at a university
    - my SAT score at age fifteen was higher than George W. Bush's on his acceptance to Yale
    - I have been compensated for professional work in at least five art forms
    - I danced with druids on the Winter solstice at Stonehenge. I also fell asleep in the centre of the circle on my first visit there
    - on my first visit to Japan I arranged a Valentine's Day date with the lovely young lady seated beside me on the plane
    - the only girlfriend I ever cheated on married me and bore my child
    - I watched the LiveAid concert in Toronto from a window of the lock-down wing of the psychiatric ward at age seventeen
    - I've appeared on television knitting at least twice
    - my only published writing is still a poem written when I was eight
    - I've had one gay acquaintance inform another that I'm a flaming heterosexual
    - I learned how to scuba dive with the crown prince of the Netherlands in a murky lake in Ontario
    - I've purchased illicit drugs in four countries and sold them in two
    - I punched my brother in the forehead while he was talking on the phone
    - I've taken LSD, morphine, lithium, librium, shot synthetic heroin and smoked hashish all within a three-hour span
    - my preferred shaving cream is Pollena Lider from Poland
    - the only times I have set foot in Germany have been at rest stops on overnight buses - four times
    - I took a ski-lift to Czech and back
    - I punched a cop in Korea and he was ordered to apologize to me
    - my favourite guitar has travelled around the world with me twice, once in each direction
    - I have been asked for my natural daughter's adoption papers at Canadian immigration. We are both Canadian by birth.
    - I was in a high speed collision age fourteen, smashed my head against the windshield, and walked away from it
    - I have never had a car accident while driving
    - my newest car was a fifteen year old BMW
    - I painted it myself
    - the last NHL game I attended, I snuck into

    This is all perfectly true!

  2. Anonymous07 July, 2006

    - Travelled in 26 countries, 3500 miles of which I cycled.
    - Hospitalised twice for 1 month spells and treated with an anti-psychotic drug.
    - Diagnose Bi-Polar at age 30 after years of undiagnosed depression
    - Phoned a radio talk show once to discuss deep fried Mars bars.
    - Had only one fight at school when a guy picked on me. I throwed him onto concrete with a Judo throw. Nearly fractured his skull.
    - Been offered a BJ two minutes after speaking to a female stranger at a wedding reception and refused it.
    - Lived for 2 years on the edge of London
    - Never been married
    - Never ejaculated inside a woman
    - Never submitted my photographs into any competition but a number of my photographs are on people’s walls. Including my dentist’s home and local Chinese fast food take-away !!
    - Played a Russian, who had passed all the Russian chess exams, at chess in a Moscow public park and beat him.
    - Fell a height of 15m onto my back ,at age 7… only winded.
    - Never cheated on a partner
    - Never had anything published.
    - Been punched, slapped and kicked by my father. On one occasion beaten with a wooden spoon until I said sorry at age 4.
    - Slept one night on a Buddhist temple tiled floor in Thailand in the open air.
    - Have an extremely obese sister
    - Drank 19 pints of lager in one night.
    - My brother-in-law was struck of the registry of Pharmacists for falsifying prescriptions for financial gain.
    - Never had a conviction or a warning from the Police.
    - Structured reasoning and coincidence I felt I was the New Messiah on two separate occasions.
    - Wrote to the Scientologist head office in London asking them how they knew that I had arrived.
    - Travelled solo on motorbike through the islands on the Outer Hebrides of Scotland.
    - Have an outstanding $20,000 fraud hanging over my head.
    - Did not lose my virginity until I was 31
    - Chopped a tree down for no other reason than, that it was there.
    - Smoked a handful of joints and taken a handful of hand picked magic mushrooms.
    - Smashed an office window where I worked one night with a stone and turned up for work the next day.
    - Walked for 1km on home made stilts
    - Drove my parent’s car into a neighbour’s garden aged 15 when my parent’s were on holiday. The police told me to apologise.
    - Did not see a computer until I was 16
    - Ate so much at a restaurant that I had to lay horizontal for 2 hours at a nightclub.
    - Sailed in a 20 knot wind onto a submerged reef of rocks with no damage to the yacht.
    - Breathed from 5cm on a Van Gough painting for 1 minute.
    - French kissed a girl in the back of a car while her unknowing boyfriend sat in the front.
    - Been hit on by a few guys.
    - Spoke to a lawyer about patenting a concept!
    - Got a medal for playing snooker.
    - Came top of my class for the first 3 years of my Engineering Degree at university, in my final year I averaged 20% in my exams.
    - Worn a woman’s dress on only one occasion.
    - Had sex with two hookers at once
    - Applied to become an RAF fighter pilot. I was accepted but declined as I did not like the divorce rate in the RAF. I never got married.
    - Taken a day to read 1 book on 4 separate occasions..
    - Never been inside a Court of Law
    - Gave the thumbs up to Mikhail Gorbachev as he left his hotel in Scotland to become the new President of Russia.
    - Put 3 Cadbury’s chocolate cream eggs in my mouth at once.
    - Wanted to start a business when leaving my last job… never found the energy and haven’t worked since. That was 3 years ago.

  3. Is this at all in response to being tagged by me for the 4 Meme? Cause ya only had to do 4 each of a few questions, sheesh Bipolar Guy!! I'm kidding, you may not have known that I tagged you. And you certainly did much better on your own! You have certainly lived a rich life, meaning full of things and stuff you did, even if you don't *think* you're rich ( in $$) you still have lived an interesting life so far. Thank you for sharing.
    :) Tart

  4. Sorry, BPG. I had a few glasses of wine and time on my hands after a long week back teaching, and I guess I just felt like spilling a whole can of beens.

    Thanks for being so understanding, leaving my list in your comments, and even responding in your blog. It seems I'm not the only one to respond similarly, either. I hope you don't mind if I publish my list on my own blog. I haven't posted anything there for a month.

    Incidentally, I just discovered that the next World Cup (football, that is) will be in South Africa. Does that mean South Africa actually gets to field a team? Maybe Canada should try for a hosting spot. :)


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