Friday, September 01, 2006

Ditching the smileys

I'm gonna ditch the little smileys (and frownies) that have appeared at the end of each post for so long. From the beginning anyway. They may be a cute way to customise a BiPolar blog, but they are actually clouding my vision.

It's all to do with scale. On what scale do you measure your mood swings?

  • Minute-to-minute?
  • Hour-to-hour?
  • Day-to-day?
  • Week-to-week?
"Pretty-Shitty", "Halfway House" have been daily creatures (if not hourly). And they're clouding my long-term vision. I'm thinking that it's actually better to measure these things year-to-year, and from that point of view I am definitely in a major depressive phase.

Don't get me wrong though, I don't believe that I am a unipolar depression sufferer as my old friend z0tl suggests. (BTW Z thanks for the Shpongle mendation - good stuff. And, yes, we wuv u 2). 20 years ago I had a 3 month episode of non-stop chronic, chronic psychosis. I was in a military hospital at the time, that saw a shit-load of really screwed up soldiers, and, yet, I was the worse case they had in living memory. If the shock treatment hadn't pulled me out, they reckon I would NEVER have come out.

So, based on that, plus based on the fact that I've had 2 (even though far-shorter) subsequent industrial-strength psychotic attacks, I am still a BiPolar Type One sufferer. Note to WillbeFine: Yeah, the rapid-cycling self-diagnosis has been totally scrapped. Maybe on a day-to-day basis I sometimes cycle rapidly but in the greater scheme of this I am actually a very "long-range" cycler. I'm not changing my diagnosis to BP 2 either as BP 2 s are not usually hospitalised more than once for severe psychosis.

Anyhow, enough of diagnoses and labels, the point for me right now is to get out of this God4saken depression that I've slumped into the past 4 years. To put 100% of my resources into depression -beating enterprises and completely forget about the mania side of things.

If I can throw this depression the world is my lobster...

(I'll have to think up some new little thingy that I can brighten up the end of my posts with)


  1. I agree that longer-term analyses are more useful; for me, week-to-week works.

    You and I are opposite extremes... you are mostly depressive, and I am mostly manic. The problems associated with them may be the same.


  2. I tried to use a mood chart and found it difficult for the same reason you say that the smilies cloud your vision.

    It's your site. Do what you need.

  3. Depression has been my issue to for the past 2 years. I can't get a grip on happiness. Keep us posted on what works for you, maybe I can use some of your ideas.

  4. hey Bipolar guy. Can I ask you a stupid question? Since i've been recently diagnosed with BP 2 I'm wondering as I read your blog if youre on meds?

    I really love this blog! I totally understand why you'd remove the smileys. Yeh keep strong!

  5. I can understand removing them. I don't bother with a mood chart.

    PS-I do read you everyday even if I don't get a chance to respond.

  6. It seems my self labelling was wrong. I am actually Type 1 as I have been in a Intense Psychiatric ward twice and should have been in a hospital another 2 times. Yes, it seems charting your mood on a short term basis is a difficult undertaken. So many outside factors to consider as well as filtering the "chemical imbalance"

  7. I can completely relate to to taking the smileys off, although I did like them on your site because even a little clarity into our bipolar moods is very helpful for me. I too change daily sometimes, (most of the time?) and tracking each day would be a lot head and writing clutter for me.

    Blogger is down, and I could not comment on my own site, let alone put anything up, or hear your above audio post properly. But I'll be back to hear it when things are corrected. I wanted to say about your happiness that guys, especially BP guys don't get PMS - ya should be! Just be careful, you might go up karmically one notch in the next life and have to deal with it! Aww, I'm kidding, I'm sure you know, but you don't know what a thrill it is for me for you to post on my site. I'm so glad you visited. And by the way, who doesn't love lobster? Great way to smooth the end! :)


  8. You could always just put a line of them....

    ;) :) :( :| :| :?

    Just type fast.


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