Friday, May 05, 2006

I'm Flying Part 2

Things are clicking, thing's are zipping
Insomina the last few nights - should be tired but I'm fucking WIRED
AC/DC blaring, downloading Led Zepplin; music memories...getting back into that 13 yr old mindset. Joining Miss L on her bursting exuberence. Man, I love that girl.
LET THERE BE ROCK . "But it's old dad, sounds like country...."

Googabytes and googabytes of ideas flyin round my head
Like a fucking pinball machine BING, ZAP, BOING, FZZZT, DLINGGG
The Pinball Wizard. "The WHO????"
Pinball Wizard, I told ya. I can see for miles and miles.
Multi-tasking about 50 apps open on my cmptr right now:
playing on-line backgammon
reading my new google rss reader (Screw Newsgator!) Go Ogle people. Go Ogle.
Yeah, they got us - LIVE ON OD. Fckn backwards.
co-oridinating music downloads from (CHECK THIS SITE DUDES - whole latest albums for a Dollar apiece) (BPG's on 40gigs and going)
Catching every business email as it comes in. Reply in milliseconds. Wins them over everytime
Checking out - cool site
Looking for a blog of someone living in Iran. Know anyone good?? Like a "WATCH THIS SPACE"
"Your Turn"
"Are you still there?"
Yeah I'm still here mothersticker, I'll get to you soon

We're all going back to the centre. Who needs goddam applications on their desk/laptops?? It's all migrating out there onto the web - take Miss L - there no boundaries - when she's on the cmptr. What's on the machine, what's off the machine - no fckn difference! Should there be???

Cricket starting just now...
gotta do that mensa short story comp too. "What if..." international competition. That's how dan brown started. Entered a fckn Mensa essay competition. Yeah he's a mnsn too.
Just beat the German expert (BROWN player)

I'll unpack it all soon

Man, if only this could last
and last

Jimi Hendrix. Manic depression. .Think I gotta register it. It won't be long...

Peter Townsend, stupid! (fondly known as Pete to his more ardent fans)
Ya gotta know who's WHO in da zoo.

Don't even get me started on WHY. Sometimes a coincidence is just a coincidence, a cigar just a cigar, and Freud....yeah, just Freud. Call a goddam cock a cock.

Hey all you coke shnorters out there: I've got news for you:




  1. funny you should say that- once upon a time a very long time ago, I used meth and sometimes coke. I preferred meth. Years later, after I had quit and been diagnosed and experienced a manic episode, I realized that what I had been doing was in my using was flipping myself into mania. The feeling I got being purely manic without any street drugs to trigger it was EXACTLY the same as if I had done them. Now I wonder what other people feel when doing drugs as they arent all bi-polars who are self-medicating. Some people who knew me then and know me now who see me if I am manic start checking my pupils LOLOL they still cant understand that my body and mind will do that all by itself. When I feel depression coming on it gets hard to not use- cause I know I can flip that switch and send myself into mania, but I am very afraid of manic psychosis+drug psychosis so I dont. Beisdes, when your at a hospital asking for help- once they see drugs in your system they quit listening to you

  2. When my psychotic mania kicked in at age 16, and I had to be ambulanced from my high school to the local hospital, they were convinced I was on PCP. They pumped my stomach and gave me TWO charcoal tests and I'm sure a whole lot of other tests and could just not believe there was not a single drug in me. I've never touched the stuff. After having an experience like that at a young age I realized that I would be in super trouble if I messed with it and psychosis is so terrifying I didn't want anything to do with anything mindbending.
    It is amazing to me that I can seem so normal, yet have a flip side that makes horror movies look like nothing. On that note, I don't watch that cr*p either. I figure its for normies who need to scare themselves because they don't know what real terror is.

    All I really want is to be 'normal' or experience as much sanity as I can before the next 'big one' hits. I am convinced that it will. I'm too young to escape without it again, no matter what medication I get. That's just what I think about it.


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